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Of trauma and healing…

May is National Trauma Awareness Month; to mark the occasion, WCASA reached out to our ally and colleague Jennifer Jones, Interim Executive Director at the Wisconsin Children’s Trust Fund for some insight and context.

Ms. Jones, a native of Beaver Dam, graduated from Marquette University with a BS in Social Work. Her work has taken her to Boston and then back to Wisconsin again, spanning the past twenty years.

(Stephen Montagna, Violence Prevention and Communications Coordinator) What drew you to children, children’s health & safety, and your work in this movement?

Jennifer Jones: The devastating impact of poverty on children and families, in particular is what drew me to the social work field. I immediately packed up my belongings the day after graduation and drove to Boston to begin my professional career immersed in addressing hunger and homelessness.  After 8 years in Boston, I moved back to Wisconsin and with continued focus on improving the lives of children, began working specifically in the child welfare arena with the Department of Health and Family Services. The more deeply I engaged in child welfare practice and systems, the greater my awareness grew of the connection of poverty to child abuse and neglect and the importance of prevention. After several years in deep-end system work, I was hired to serve as the Associate Director of the Wisconsin Children’s Trust Fund with the responsibility for advancing a statewide agenda to promote child abuse and neglect prevention. In essence, I’ve been working with children and family related issues for my entire 20-year professional career.

 

What sort of connection does National Trauma Awareness Month have to the work of the CTF?

JJ: I think drawing attention to trauma is important – not just during this month but throughout the entire year. Trauma Awareness Month provides a venue for raising the issue of trauma on a broader level.  The Children’s Trust Fund is particularly interested in trauma as it relates to children who are abused or neglected by their caregivers. I commend the Wisconsin Coalition Against Sexual Assault for using this month of May to expand the focus to include trauma associated with violence and abuse.

 

What is the significance of the ACE study and how does it relate to the work of CTF?

JJ: The original Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACE) study conducted by Drs. Rob Anda and Vincent Felitti from 1995-1997 was the first large scale study of its kind to document the significant and profound relationship that child abuse and neglect and other adverse experiences have on later adult physical and mental health outcomes.  In 2010, in partnership with the Child Abuse Prevention Fund of Children’s Hospital, and the Departments of Health Services and Children and Families, CTF raised funds to include the ACE module in the Wisconsin Behavioral Risk Factor Survey.  For the first time, we were able to examine and understand the prevalence and impact of adverse childhood experiences among Wisconsin adults.  Our findings mimic those of the original ACE study – 56% of Wisconsin adults reported growing up with at least one ACE.  The findings showed that certain ACEs were highly correlated with an ACE score of 4 or more.  For example, of those individuals who reported growing up with a household member that was incarcerated, 64% reported having experienced at least 4 ACEs.  Incarceration of a family member goes hand in hand with a number of other ACEs.  For the Children’s Trust Fund, this raises a critical question about prevention – if we work with children now who are growing up with an incarcerated family member, can we mitigate exposure to additional adverse childhood experiences and ultimately reduce the negative outcomes associated with higher number of ACEs?  The ACE findings – both the original study and Wisconsin’s data highlight why prevention efforts are so critical. If we can reduce the number of adverse experiences earlier in the lives of children, I believe, we can have a significant impact not only on their individual lives but on the many systems that serve them.

 

What are the connections between the work of the CTF and the sexual assault advocacy and violence prevention movement?

JJ: The Wisconsin ACE data demonstrated that ACEs tend to indicate a greater likelihood of other traumatic experiences. This is particularly notable given the CTF focus on prevention.  Among those who were sexually abused, 28% have 2-3 ACEs and 57% have 4 or more ACEs.  In addition, the strongest association in the Wisconsin data was between ACEs and mental health, particularly pronounced among adults reporting childhood physical and sexual abuse. Among adults who reported sexual abuse, the odds of frequent mental distress more than doubled.  Frequent mental distress is defined as experiencing 14 or more “bad mental health days” out of the past 30 days.  In a recent study by Cassandra Simmel, Et.Al., examining the relationship between the experience and disclosure of childhood sexual abuse and subsequent adult sexual violence, found that physical force during the childhood sexual abuse experience was significant in adult revictimization experiences. Consistently the research shows links between child maltreatment and sexual assault victimization. There’s a lot we can do together to have a positive impact on the lives of children and families in our state.  This work is well underway through the Forward Wisconsin Initiative [PDF download], a collaboration working to enhance efforts to change social norms and community tolerance for violence.  This collaboration includes representatives from the Wisconsin Departments of Health Services and Children and Families, the Wisconsin Coalition Against Sexual Assault, the Wisconsin Coalition Against Domestic Violence, the Governor’s Council on Domestic Abuse, the Child Abuse Prevention Fund of Children’s Hospital, Children’s Service Society of Wisconsin, and the Wisconsin Children’s Trust Fund.

 

What opportunities might National Trauma Awareness Month present to CTF, child safety advocates, and violence prevention practitioners to raise awareness and extend the reach of their messaging? 

JJ: Awareness, in itself can be healing.  The more individuals are aware of trauma and its impact on their physical and mental health, the greater their ability to begin recovery and healing from traumatic experiences.  Dedicating a specific month to building and generating awareness of trauma is a vital component in the broader outreach and educational campaign.  The ACE & Trauma Workgroup, convened by the Children’s Trust Fund and composed of key experts statewide has identified public awareness and education as a key priority for 2013 and beyond.  However, it’s critical to take this work beyond building awareness by offering individuals and agencies meaningful strategies to address trauma in their individual lives and in the lives of clients. I look forward to a future theme and focus of National Trauma Awareness Month on adverse childhood experiences and the resulting impact on the health and well-being of children and families throughout Wisconsin.

Posted in Commentary.

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Just browsing around…

The more information becomes available online, the more hours of our days we will spend using a web browser. Most people don’t pay too much attention to their browser – after all, it’s the content it serves up, the web pages you’re visiting, that are the important part, right?

True. Still, there are ways that your browser can assist you in getting work done and staying organized if you’re willing to occasionally think outside the box that web site content is in.

Below are some tips – ranging from the rudimentary toward slightly high-tech; if you’re a novice user, you may find them enlightening; if you’re a heavy-duty geek you will more than likely find them boring, in which case please add to comments below with your own suggestions for how you squeeze the most out of your web browsing experience.

* note: most everything described below will work with the most popular, modern, cross-platform (Windows and Mac) browsers – Internet Explorer (Win only) Safari, Mozilla Firefox, Google Chrome, Opera.

 

Tabs

The first thing you need to think about, if you’re not already, are tabs. All the modern browsers are tabbed – that is, in addition opening more than one browser window at a time, you can open multiple web pages within a single browser window – each in it’s own tab.

Different browsers handle tabs in different ways although the basic principles are the same; most are set to open any link you click on in the same window you are currently in, but can be set to instead open any link in its own tab. Why would you want to do this?

1) search results

Ever performed a search and got lost down a rabbit hole, and then wanted to get back to that original page of results? From your search results page Command-click (Mac) or Control-Click (Windows) and the link will instead open in its own tab; decide it’s not the right item/article you’re looking for? – your original search page is still there in the first tab. You can compare various search results side-by-side by opening multiple tabs.

2) planning a trip

If you have to travel for an event somewhere – say a conference – perhaps you have a browser window open with the page for the conference; you can open another tab and search for the location in Google Maps; and open another to price out airfares (even compare competing airlines side-by-side).

 

Bookmarks bar

Every modern browser allows you to create bookmarks – quick reminder links back to pages you visit often. Generally when you add a bookmark it gets dumped into a list; if you’re like me, this list can get long and cluttered very easily, so keep this organized – you can nest bookmarks into folders.

Another tool that’s handy is that browsers have a bookmarks bar (it may be called different names depending on the browser). This bar – which normally runs across the top of the browser window under the main toolbar/address bar – may be hidden by default, but can be turned “on”; it allows you to drop the most important links at the top of the browser window. You can also create folders and nest bookmarks here.

One of the “tricks” is that most browsers give you control over how these bookmarks are named; you’ll note when you first add one, it defaults the bookmark name to the page name (the name the programmer puts in the Title field of the page’s HTML code and that appears at the top of the browser window). You can edit this, thus giving you more room on your bookmarks bar.

Want to get even more clever? Use UNICODE characters – these are the symbols that are part of fonts outside of the usual arabic alphabet.

 

Status bar

The Status bar generally runs along the bottom of the browser window. Again, like the Bookmarks bar, it may be turned off (or hidden) by default; some browsers – like Firefox and Chrome – have made it visible only when you mouse-over a link on a web page. That really is its only job – to display the “status” of the link you move your mouse cursor over; mouse-over a link and it displays the URL (Universal Resource Locator, or internet address) that the link points to.

The advantage to having it visible is that it can give you, the end user, some “heads-up” as to what clicking the link you’re currently pointing at will mean; by looking at the URL, you can tell if it’s going to open a web page on the site you’re on, or on a different web site, whether that page will by default open in a new window or tab, or if the link in fact points toward a file rather than a page.

 

“Tricks”

Javascript

Not for the faint of heart – some sites provide “bookmarklets”, these are bookmarks that are actually a piece of Javascript code that do things; if you’re savvy enough, you can “roll your own”:

1) email

Copy the following text:

javascript:if(navigator.userAgent.indexOf(‘Safari’)%20%3E=%200)%7BQ=getSelection();%7Delse%7BQ=document.selection?document.selection.createRange().text:document.getSelection();%7Dvoid(location.href=’mailto:?SUBJECT=’+document.title+’&BODY=’+escape(Q)+’%20%3C’+escape(location.href)+’%3E’);

Go to your browser and find Show All Bookmarks in your Bookmarks menu, and create a new Bookmark, in your Bookmarks toolbar; paste the code into where it asks for Location. Name it “email” or “email with Title/Text”

This link will create a new email in your email application (must be a desktop client, like OutLook or Mail) with the title of the web page as the Subject of the email, and the URL pasted into the body. Wanna get more fancy? Do the same, and in the middle of the javascript where you see “(location.href=’mailto:?SUBJECT”, enter an email address after “mailto:” – such as:

(location.href=’mailto:stephenm@wcasa.org?SUBJECT

This will cause the link to do everything listed above, but ALSO plunk in that email address; this makes, for instance, sending content from your work computer to a home email account (or vice-versa) a matter of couple of clicks.

 

2) Quix

A pre-built javascript applet that connects to an online web application – that’s basically what Quix is; and it’s free!

To begin, visit http://www.quixapp.com/ and click and drag the orange “button” called Quix App to your Browser’s Bookmark bar. When you click on the Quix bookmarklet, it opens a window into which commands can be typed; simply type “help” to get a list of all commands.

What’s cool about Quix is that the commands will work on either text that you input into the Quix window, or any text that you have selected on the current web page. For instance, select any bit of text, click the Quix bookmarklet, type “g” and hit enter. Whatever text you have highlighted will be entered into a Google search.

 

This is just a scratch on the surface; there are lots of ways to speed up your web-based work. What are yours? Share your ideas in Comments!

Posted in Technology.

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Is sexual assault a public health issue? You bet it is…

A conversation with WCASA’s Rose Hennessey, MPH

April is Sexual Assault Awareness Month (SAAM)! And, April 1–7th is National Public Health Awareness Month.

Last month, WCASA welcomed Rose Hennessey to our staff as the Prevention & Evaluation Coordinator. Rose studied at the University of Minnesota, where she was Violence Prevention Intern and coordinated college events for Sexual Assault Awareness Month. While doing this work she developed an interest in prevention and decided to do her Masters in Public Health Education at UCLA. There, she worked on Project Erin (Emergency Response Intervention Network) at the Children’s Institute, Inc. where she did case management on domestic violence cases with mostly Spanish speaking children and families. She was also therapeutic support advocate for their PCIT (Parent‐Child Interaction Therapy) program.

WCASA prevention staff sit discussing public health

SM sits down with Rose H.

WCASA’s Violence Prevention & Communications Coordinator sat down with Rose to discuss the intersection of public health and sexual violence.

You can view the interview via YouTube (15 min)

The following is an excerpted transcript of that conversation:

 

Stephen Montagna, Violence Prevention and Communications Coordinator: What made you want to pursue a degree in Public Health?

Rose Hennessey: When I was in my undergrad, I was a Biology major. I was interested in science and interested in that kind of research development; but I was also a prevention educator. So I was going into fraternities, and talking to… anyone in the community really; I think I counted more than fifty presentations when I was there. I thought: this is really where my heart is – preventing violence. Most people who go into the field, they’re maybe lawyers, or therapists, or advocates. And I just felt, I really want to do the prevention work. I remember sitting down with someone and saying “well, how do we prevent violence?”, and they said “well, we use the public health model”, and I said “what’s that?” – and they said “you should go learn about it”!

 

SM: So your prevention work actually pre-dated the public health, you actually saw the public health work as a means toward accomplishing a prevention goal?

RH: Yes.

SM: What’s the connection between sexual assault and public health? When someone said, “check out these models”, what did those models tell about – what did you learn from public health about sexual assault?

RH: I think that it doesn’t take much digging to look at the health impacts. Especially in sexual assault, we’re looking at the impact of STD’s, HIV, that’s I think the most obvious, clear link. I think I just read that 40% of IPV (intimate partner violence) or sexual assault [incidents] have a physical injury, that go with them. Whether thats a broken arm, scrapes, lesions, something like that; so we already see those health effects there, leading up to, unfortunately to death. And anything that is a cause of death I think can be linked to being a public health problem.

 

SM: I find myself using the comparison with the word pandemic. We think of an epidemic, an outbreak; a pandemic, something that spreads world-wide. Is that appropriate? Are public health practitioners making that comparison – sexual assault is just like a disease in some ways?

RH: Very much so.

SM: Different because it’s not caused by a biological agent, it’s caused by personal behavior. But still, in terms of how wide-spread it is, we can think of it as a pandemic.

RH: Yeah, and I think especially because we have been able to do things and see tangible prevention results, if it’s something we can prevent, just like we can prevent onset of diabetes…then the model of prevention from the public health framework is going to be a really good fit. And is a really good fit.

 

SM: What can the SA prevention movement learn from the Public Health movement?

RH: Well I think the nice thing about the public health background is this science-y, research background that they’re really bringing in. Especially in terms of surveillance and tracking systems, so some of these great national reporting systems – but even just the ability to track and measure things over time. I think that sometimes that’s not something that we’ve had the money or time or knowledge, resources in the sexual assault movement to always accomplish. I also think that if we’re going to invest time in prevention, we should be doing things that we think really work well, not just maybe feel good. And I think that’s something that the public health folks and their models have really taken in looking at those outcomes and making a commitment to continue the things that are effective, and modify those things that aren’t, or discontinue them.

 

SM: So what about the other direction? Do you think there’s anything the public health movement can learn from the SA prevention movement?

Well I think about this a lot; I feel like it’s very difficult for folks in public health to come into domestic violence, child abuse, sexual assault prevention. More so than it is to go into poison prevention, cancer research, or that kind of thing. And I think it’s because there’s such a strong root in social change work, in social organizing, this movement that has originated from feminist upbringing. When you look at the framing of violence prevention as a public health issue, I think the first real great documentation is 1979, there was a health report released in the United States… but that’s a pretty young movement. When you think about the movement of ending violence against women – I mean, this has been going on and on and on. The activism that you see in our movement, the number of people calling legislators to pass VAWA, the Take Back The Night events happening globally. We see some of that in Relay for Life, some of your breast cancer awareness [campaigns], but I don’t think the investment and the activism is as strong and I think that’s something that the public health movement could really learn from the sexual assault movement.

 

SM: As someone who started in the movement as a prevention person, there are times where prevention and advocacy can – for lack of a better term, metaphorically – “butt heads”, because advocacy is responding to the real experiences of survivors, and prevention people tend to play with hypotheticals.  And because the movements really started as a sort of call for perpetrators to be [held] accountable. We know these crimes are perpetrated by individuals, or by groups, we want those people held accountable. When you’re talking about a public health model – taking a step back and trying to see the causes that lead to this, there can be a tendency for some people on the advocacy side to think that you’re actually letting the perpetrator off the hook. How do you mitigate that?

RH: That’s interesting. I think it’s something that would come up in certain contexts. I think it comes down to this idea that the act is never okay. Whatever is causing it is never okay. Now, if we just leave it at that, we’re not going to have enough knowledge to prevent it. So it’s important to take it another step. But, I think that that has been a tension; and holding those folks accountable – I was really excited when I saw WCASA’s state prevention plan because offender accountability is one of those objectives. And I thought, that’s really wonderful, because it’s making it really clear that in the midst of all of this we’re not going to forget, that if we live in a society where people can do whatever they want and are never held accountable, we’re probably not going to prevent this.

 

SM: Where would you like to see the SA prevention movement go? What are we not (yet) doing that we should be?

RH: Well, in my perfect world, where I have as much funding as I want, and time… I think that it’s really common that when we are doing prevention efforts we are only doing one thing because that’s what we have capacity to do. So maybe in this town they’re doing — you know, events for Sexual Assault Awareness Month; and maybe over here they’re doing a curriculum with their teens; and over here they’re doing something else. But, we know that if we’re really going to prevent sexual assault it’s got to be a multifaceted approach. And that it’s never going to be enough; that every input that comes at us as human beings, that’s pushing us in certain directions, that we’re not going to mitigate that with a one-hour presentation. I would like to see more multifaceted approaches that are really targeting multiple levels. And, with that I would really like to see more RCTs — or randomized controlled trials — of what’s going on, because when you’re looking at literature, if you’re looking for prevention, our evidence-based practices very frequently are based on one study that hasn’t been replicated in other settings and as we saw with the crime prevention stuff in the Chicago area — CeaseFire, when that was replicated in other cities they didn’t get the same results because the cities were different. But they got wonderful results in Chicago. So I think I would like to see more research done in a rigorous manner so that we know it’s effective and if we’re gonna talk about best practices we can be more educated about it. Specifically, in some of our unique communities, too, that really have different risk and protective factors that might not be targeted by some of those interventions made for the mainstream.

 

SM: When we think of the public health model, and Public Health Awareness Week going into Sexual Assault Awareness Month, what are some of the ways in which people can actually think in a public health way as they’re celebrating or marking the month? I know for instance, towards the end of the month we will have a lot of activities here in Dane County. We’ll have Denim Day. Is Denim Day a public health opportunity?

RH: I think a lot of the sexual assault awareness month events are in and of themselves, awareness. Any time we have an awareness event it’s a great platform to include prevention, and to think about those risk and protective factors; how can we talk about them? How can we engage in them? So, if were doing denim Day let’s talk about healthy sexuality at the same time. Let’s talk about would have healthy masculinity looks like.

 

SM: Steubenville [OH] Which is so much in the news right now, is that a good opportunity to have public health dialog?

RH: Well I think that using that framework is very good. There are times that the public health movement has been critiqued for not having enough of a social justice basis as well. And I think there is some very valid reasons for that claim. That’s something that’s really nice about working in our field, is that I think we bring I think we bring some of those social justice [sensibilities]. I’d say that having a public health discussion about that situation could definitely be the case. And anytime were talking about this also remembering a social justice framework, and bringing in some of those concepts can be really important.

Posted in Commentary, Prevention.

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No Health without Safety

{this article was submitted as part of WCASA’s call for reflections on themes related to National Women’s History Month}

By Lily Grant

If I had been born 50 years ago, my life would have been incredibly different. I would have had predominantly male doctors who were under no obligation to inform me of any side effects or contraindications of medicines they prescribed. My likelihood of finishing college would be about 40% (Special to CNN), and I would have no right to a safe and legal abortion. Undoubtedly, women’s lives have improved by leaps and bounds even in as short a time as 50 years. It’s important to recognize these achievements, especially during Women’s History Month, but we can’t lose sight of the ground that still has to be covered.

When I first set out for college, I heard from everyone that the undergraduate years are a time for exploration and learning, an opportunity to test your understanding of the world and see if it holds true. In my first two years here at UW-Madison, I’ve tried to do just that: I’ve attended debates, tried subjects I would have ignored in high school, and made an attempt to get in touch with the community around me. My four semesters here have taught me a great deal, but there is one unavoidable truth that remains in the background, one that appears unlikely to change any time soon: I am not safe. None of us, my friends, classmates, and relatives, none of us are safe.

Everyone knows the tips college-age women are supposed to follow in order to avoid rape: don’t walk alone at night, never leave your drink unattended, have a rape whistle or a can of mace on you at all times. I’ve heard these repeated by UW staff and Madison police. These standards reinforce the myth that rapists are strangers, crouching in a dark alley waiting to pounce as you walk by. In a society like ours, where 62-84% of women are acquainted with their rapist (oneinfourusa), asking a male coworker or casual friend for an escort home may actually put a woman in more danger.

This is not to say that any and all men are potential rapists, but the fact that the majority of rapists are violating women they know is important. It points to an overall trend that women’s bodies are not seen as their own property, even by men who know them. This was appallingly clear in the recent Steubenville rape case, when two young men allegedly drugged a sixteen-year-old girl and carried her unconscious body from party to party, where she was repeatedly sexually assaulted in front of witnesses who mostly remained silent (The Atlantic). [Ms. Grant's piece was authored before the judge in the Steubenville case handed down the decision finding the defendants delinquent, the juvenile court equivalent of a guilty verdict – ed.]

This case is an extreme example, but the twitter feed and the video from that night that were released to the media bear striking resemblances to other portrayals of women’s bodies in the media.  Recent cultural events like the Oscars spread the message that women’s bodies don’t belong to them–with gags like Seth MacFarlane’s “We Saw your Boobs” song, calling actresses out for topless appearances in movies (some from rape scenes) in order to humiliate and degrade.

Closer to home, the new fad of confessions pages on Facebook has brought these attitudes to light; the page for the UW is peppered with jokes-that-aren’t-jokes like “no means yes, yes means anal,” which has gained almost 100 “likes” from other viewers of the page. Anyone who protests is shouted down by the claims that these comments shouldn’t be taken seriously. This attitude perpetuates the misconception that jokes are meaningless, but in reality jokes reveal a great deal about the cultural context that creates them. In this case, the underlying attitudes are that women don’t get a say in what happens to their bodies, and violations of their personal space make for an amusing story to be posted on a public page.

Clearly, despite the best efforts of the sexual assault awareness groups on this campus and elsewhere, a frightening number of students (men and women) aren’t getting it. They don’t understand what rape is because they aren’t analyzing the attitudes that allow rape to persist.

There is another serious problem with providing students checklists to avoid rape: it places the responsibility for preventing rape squarely at the feet of women. Aside from being stressful, restrictive, and practically impossible, it means that there is no accountability for rapists. Think about it; it is extremely rare to hear the words “don’t rape.” Obviously, the implications are harmful for survivors, especially because this unilateral responsibility to end rape perpetuates victim blaming. If it is a woman’s job to avoid rape then it must be her fault if someone manages to rape her. However, this practice is also detrimental to men; they are afforded almost no chance to learn not to rape in a popular culture that almost never makes them take responsibility for their own actions or empowers them to intervene in a situation like Steubenville, even when they know it’s wrong. There are rape prevention programs on every university campus, but none of them are mandatory, so their scope is limited. Programs like Coaching Boys into Men and Men Can Stop Rape focus on violence prevention through self-respect, and respect for others. They’re fantastic organizations that focus on male role models teaching boys and young men how to stand up in a peaceful way. But these groups can only reach a certain number of people and can’t teach everyone who could benefit from learning. Furthermore, male rape victims are invisible in this culture or, at worst, are taunted and accused of lying.

Knowledge is the first step to prevention, and I honestly believe that if all people were taught the reality of rape, how it happens and why, then more of them would make the right choices.

If we really want to take a stand on this issue, and challenge the subtle attitudes that allow rape to persist, then we first have to make it clear that respect is vital; rape wouldn’t be an issue if the right to one’s own body was universally respected. For my part, I think a strong start would be to make Gender Studies a General Education requirement here at the UW. If any university makes the statement that learning about gender inequality in our society is just as important as physics, biology, or literature, it might be easier for the students to put themselves in the shoes of survivors and those in danger, and really think about the consequences of their actions.

 

Lily Grant is a volunteer at the Wisconsin Women’s Network and a student at UW-Madison.

This article is also published on the WWN Blog.

Posted in Campus, Commentary.


World Poetry Day – a survivor’s story

Finding my identity

By Dawn Helmrich

 

Every day for months I could not look

I would walk by the mirror and stare at the ground

Nothing felt right about who I was

Shadows

Dripped across the floor

Shapes of me that weren’t really me

Who was this stranger
This unidentifiable being that sifted slowly through life

Once a smiling, laughing, loving youthful soul

Now someone that I could not identify

Someone with a heavy load upon her back

How would I ever reclaim who I was before

I could not, there was no before

There was only now and I was in it

But not really in it

The hours and days continued and I was still present

Physically present, emotionally dead

How would I ever get to know this new person that lived inside my body

This person that carried a burden so thick with hurt and pain

When would I have a chance to be me again?

It did not happen in one day

It did not happen in one year

It is still happening

I slowly started to get familiar with the shadows that lay across the floor

Seeing them everyday, watching them drift and sway as I walked

Instead of dreading them I began to embrace them

I could not hide from them

I could not get away from them

They were different than the shadows I once knew

They were wiser, stronger, harder than the youthful laughing soul I once knew

They were still loving, but in a different way, cautious, deliberate

They still harbored pain and hurt

But they started to become my identity

The guilt of who I was began to fade into the blackness where it came from

The eyes that looked at the ground began to rise

There it was

There I was

In that mirror

A different person than before

A thoughtful, meaningful, loving, caring person

A beautiful person

A survivor…

 

Posted in General.


“End the Word” March 6 – Celebrate Developmental Disabilities Awareness Month

banner: March is Developmental Disabilities Awareness Month

March is Developmental Disabilities Awareness Month thanks to a 1987 Presidential Proclamation from Ronald Reagan. A lot has changed since then, more people with intellectual and developmental disabilities (I/DD) are living and thriving in their communities rather than institutions, there are more opportunities, more protections and more respect for and inclusion of people with I/DD in their communities.

Developmental Disabilities Awareness Month is time set aside each year to raise community awareness about the people with developmental disabilities.  Developmental Disabilities is defined as a significant and lasting mental and/or physical impairment, a developmental disability occurs prior to age 22 and substantially limits a person in 3 or more major life activities. Learning, speaking, personal care, moving, hearing, making decisions and working are a few examples of major life activities. People with developmental disabilities are an important part of our community and have many gifts and talents to contribute.

People with disabilities are four to ten times more likely to be assaulted, robbed, or sexually attacked than people who are not disabled. One recent study found that more than 70 percent of women with developmental disabilities are sexually assaulted in their lifetimes, which represents a 50 percent higher rate than the rest of the population.

 

Why Celebrate It? 

  • To learn about an important group that is struggling for full inclusion in US society.
  • To understand why laws were created to protect people with disabilities, and how they work.
  • To appreciate the great and small contributions people with disabilities make to our society.
  • To help improve attitudes and eliminate stereotypes that hold back people with disabilities.
  • To learn to separate people from their disabilities, so accomplishments are recognized without an inappropriate focus on disability.
  • To recognize that we are all just a heartbeat away from becoming disabled through illness or accidents.

 

What Can I Do? 

  • Learn about different disabilities and how they affect people differently: read, ask questions, and respect differences.
  • Support the efforts of people with disabilities to lead full lives, work at rewarding jobs, and participate in all aspects of life.
  • Correct and challenge stereotypes and slurs in media, advertising, and everyday conversation.
  • Support local groups working for diverse multicultural institutions.

banner image: Spread the Word to End the Word; Language affects attitude. Attitudes affect actions. Make your pledge to use respectful people first language.On Wednesday, March 6, people around the world will unite their communities to Spread the Word to End the Word®, as supporters participate in the 5th annual ‘Spread the Word to End the Word’ awareness day, aimed at ending the hurtful use of the R-word (“retard(ed)”) negatively impacting people with intellectual and developmental disabilities (IDD).

Watch “Not Acceptable”, the R-Word PSA on YouTube.

Language affects attitudes. Attitudes impact actions. Special Olympics and Best Buddies International encourage people all over the world to pledge now to use respectful language at www.R-word.org and build communities of respect and inclusion for all people.

Posted in Considerations of Identity, General.


Women’s History Month / International Women’s Day (Mar. 8th) – spotlight

There’s hardly a better way to celebrate Women’s History Month than celebrating the grass-roots organizers and partners across the nation for their efforts that helped get the Senate version of the Violence Against Women Act re-authorized [link to CNN story]!

But there’s plenty more.

This month, PBS is running a series called Makers: Women Who Make America; check your local listings, or watch episodes online.

Or, check out Beyond the Box’s series Women & Girls Lead Us Into Women’s History Month.

And not last nor least, if you haven’t, visit the Half the Sky movement; check out the book, or watch the film online (scroll down toward bottom of page) [warning: while incredibly insightful, it’s difficult to watch in one sitting; powerful stories of women who have lived through unimaginable violence].

 

Here at WCASA, we have both the book and DVD of Half the Sky, available to be borrowed by members.

Posted in General, News.


Celebrating African American History Month – a conversation with Dr. Alice Belcher

February is African American History Month. Sexual violence affects many in the African American community, and people of color can face additional barriers to accessing services; they constitute an under-served population in the violence prevention movement.

picture of Dr. Alice Belcher

photo of Dr. Alice Belcher

For some context, we reached out to WCASA Board Member Dr. Alice Belcher, B.A.| M.S.| D.D., herself a woman of color, with both African and Native American ancestry, and long-time member of the movement to end violence. Dr. Belcher is Commissioner for the Milwaukee Commission on Domestic Violence and Sexual Assault, and a member of the Milwaukee Domestic Violence Homicide Review Commission. She is the founder of the Christian Woman Perspective Ministries, Inc., a volunteer holistic faith-based community outreach program.

Q: How long have you been doing domestic violence and/or sexual assault advocacy and prevention work? What drew you to the movement?

Dr. Belcher: I was drawn to the movement to stop domestic violence and sexual assault, several years ago as a victim seeking help to understand what had happened to me. I remain as a survivor, yet trying to understand what happened to me and how it continues to reverberate and impact my life on a daily basis to this day. I try and help other survivors and the community, in occasionally volunteering, or to share my story or to raise awareness about violence, in the hope to prevent violence and the debilitating and disabling health challenges it causes many women (survivors) and even death for some victims.

I am a Mother, who loves her children fiercely! This is important to be understood, in order to understand the impact violence has had upon my life. Prior to the birth of one of my children, while pregnant, my abuse began at the hands of my spouse. I would be choked while pregnant, thrown into walls while pregnant and violated. When I decided to leave, after the birth of our child, I was beaten in our home, bone broken in my face and I was left there for dead. A family member found me. Fear, kept me from allowing the emergency medical personnel at the hospital to contact the police. I would also become a secondary victim of sexual assault. Abusers seek to maintain their power and control over their victims, especially when the victim leaves or threaten to leave. This is also the most dangerous time for the victim and/or her children, if any. The abuser will seek to maintain their power and control over the victim, even if it means through the victimization of their children: by using custody/placement, sexual assault of the children, minimizing the victim’s parental access to her children, or killing the children, particularly in cases where victims have left the abuser through divorce or separation. These tactics of the abuser, represents the “fear” that grips victims to stay. For many women, they stay because they feel they can protect their children better if they stay, rather than have children taken from them in custody or in shared placements.

When I made attempts to report our abuse, it fell on deaf ears and/or I was not believed. I recall being called a liar and my abuser was believed and not me, by the very “systems” that were designed to protect my children and me. I recall being threatened by law enforcement with arrest when I attempted to defend my child and myself against our abuser. I never told anyone again. Why was I not believed or helped by the systems that I sought out? Why was I actually turned away from some domestic violence agencies when I went there for help, which are funded for the very purpose to help women and children like myself? I guess one would have to ask them. I don’t know. But, what I do know is, Christian Woman Perspective Ministries founded, formed, and operated by volunteers, is committed that no women seeking help will ever be turned away without being helped.

 

Q: Was this the idea/intention behind the formation of Christian Woman Perspective Ministries, Inc?

Dr. Belcher: I am a Christian Woman of Faith, having served the church for 40 years, faithfully; and within that faith am taught that it is the church that the people turn to in having its need met: Food, clothing, sanctuary, settling of disputes, counseling [individual and family.] However, as a survivor of violence and having turned to the church to meet my need, as a suddenly single parent, a victim of violence, there was no support system for me. I have spent several years analyzing why this has been the case for me and for multiple other women-of-faith; while at the same time, I began to pray. I knew if there was no “man [kind]” I could turn to help and support me, I knew I could turn to my faith [God.] Soon, another woman-of-faith joined me in prayer, then another. Soon, there were multiple women meeting in my home for prayer, Bible study and support. What quickly became apparent as we shared our stories during these meetings, almost every woman present and/or their child [ren] was a survivor of domestic violence and/or sexual assault. Christian Woman Perspective Ministries was born out of the necessity of woman-of- faith first seeking support to meet their own need, which was not being met in the church, and has grown into a non-profit community support organization for communities of faith, for families and for community education in violence prevention in Milwaukee County.

 

Q: What sort of significance does African American History Month have within the violence awareness and prevention movement?

Dr. Belcher: African American History is a very significant piece of the conversation about violence awareness and the prevention movement. In fact, it was the civil rights movement of the 1960s, which ushered in the women’s movement, which ushered in the domestic violence movement.

Most certainly, one must take into account in the conversation about the enslavement of African-Americans in America. Without taking into account America’s history of being a slave holding nation for 400 years, enslaving an entire race of people, its cultures and traditions, social structure and mores, including the stripping away of the African-American people’s humanity in not even to be considered human under our U.S. Constitution [African-Americans were considered only 3/5 human]; and the continued refusal of our nation to accept any responsibility for this conflagration against the African-American people, nor for the continued impact this continues to have upon African-American descendents today; then we can never get “real awareness” or lay foundations necessary for sustainable change or for violence prevention.

Even today, long after the ratification of the 13th Amendment to the U.S. Constitution, freeing African-American people, African-Americans continue the struggle to be free in their own nation of their own birth, just to receive this country’s basic life axiom which is freely given to immigrants entering our country, that being, access to economic power. Access to economic power would bring with it for the African-American people, finally the freedom to deconstruct from the horrors of the African Diaspora and its continued modern day impact as the major contributor of poverty and violence in African-American families and communities.

To quote Dr. Cornel West [who was quoting Ghandi]: “Poverty is the worse form of violence.” Without economic empowerment, there can be no real freedom or sustainable change in ending violence for the African-American culture in this nation.

 

Q: How does someone’s identity as a person of color impact the way in which they experience violence? What sort of barriers to accessing services might a person from the African American community face?

Dr. Belcher: How individuals experience violence, based upon research, information, knowledge and belief, will likely be processed through their individual cultural lens, prefaced by their personal experiences. Which is precisely why cultural competency is of key importance in formulating violence advocacy, prevention and education programming.

For some, African-Americans who have faced barriers in accessing services, cultural competency may have been one of the multi-faceted factors. Others could be limited access to services due to lack of transportation. However, when considering cultural competency as a factor, it is important to understand that cultural competency is not an arrival, but rather, a continuum of “becoming.” Unless, one is directly from within a particular culture (not only race, but also culture), one will always be outside that culture and learning and understanding that culture. Being an outsider, one will always have an unknown about the culture, because that culture will never tell you everything, nor will you ever be brought in completely into the inner circle of that culture and that is OK.

One example of what I call “closed cultures,” could be certain Asian cultures in America. The closed nature of such cultures and how it provides services for its culture in violence prevention and accountability, is readily accepted by outside cultures as being OK; and their cultural process is not questioned by the outside cultures, there is no intrusion upon them by outside cultures, but is respected by outside cultures, and rightfully so. However, by contrast and compare, for the African-American culture, the opposite applies. There is not this acceptance by outside cultures that it is OK for African-American cultures to be a closed culture; or that African-American culture knows what is best in the deliverance of violence prevention or accountability services to its own culture.

One significant barrier for African-Americans is the lack of economic empowerment necessary for the African-American culture to establish and provide for violence prevention services to its culture on a mainstream scale, which has not historically existed. Historically, violence advocacy for African-Americans overwhelmingly has been a system, which has told this culture what it needs, rather than being a culturally competent system, which desired to hear what the culture said it needed and advocated fiercely for it on their behalf or empowered them to provide it for themselves.

There is a rebuttable presumption that a blended programming is sufficient to meet the need for the African-American culture as a part of that grouping, such as people of color or underserved populations. I question the likelihood that an entire race of people, who is feared on some level, whose history and present day status in our nation is so severely negatively impacted by the African-Diaspora, 400 years ancestral slavery in America, continued denial to economic empowerment (land or wealth), can adequately have its multifaceted needs addressed, as simply being a part of programming identified for “people of color” or “underserved populations” along with cultures who are not experiencing these same unique barriers. Based upon my own knowledge and integration into the African-American culture as an African-American, I am of the opinion that It is unlikely that this will provide the necessary access to services needed by African-Americans and could in all likelihood, continue to present as a significant barrier to African-Americans being able to access appropriate services for their needs.

The African-American culture is a wonderfully diverse culture. We are cultures within our own culture, made of blended cultures [I myself descend from slaves and Choctaw Indian.] Still, non-African- American cultures fear the African-American culture. This too, represents a significant barrier to African-Americans being able to receive appropriate services. It also begs the question, how can one positively impact a culture of people, if one has a fear of the people, respect and appreciate them little, have little to no understanding of their history or culture and insists upon not recognizing their own personal bias’ in service to this African-American culture? The answer is, one cannot. When this occurs, a program is not culturally competent; it also runs the risk of possibly being labeled as a program that exists for economic purpose and not for sustainable positive change in the culture. In such cases, cultural competency cannot be achieved as trust is not established and information will be withheld by the culture to the service provider, which can likely result in continued miscommunications and unintended consequences by well-meaning service providers, but continues the re-victimization of African-American victims.

 

Q: How has the AA community responded to violence? Are there things that community should be doing to better address it?

Dr. Belcher: The African-American community response to violence has been in the very best way that it can within the limited resources available directly to our communities. We work with other agencies to attempt to get the needs of our communities met, and with some successes; and most grass roots agencies [most charitable and/or volunteer] continue to serve in the African-American communities to pick up the lack as best they can with no real resources available to them, in service to their communities. Many African-American leaders, community based and faith based, are working very hard to work with individuals and families and educate communities with very limited to no resources. Community meetings are held, one-on-one case mentoring, community education, prayer vigils for the lost and prayers for those who remain. Much more is needed to be done, for the implementation of what we know is needed in African-American communities, but do not have the resources to implement.

 

Q: What can allies from outside the AA community do to support them in ending violence?

Dr. Belcher: Allies who are outside of the African-American communities can support these communities in ending violence; in first acknowledging their right to exist and that they can support their communities. Acknowledgment and support of the African-American community’s as having the knowledge and understanding as to what is needed to serve its own culture and respect that the same as we do for many other culturally specific domestic violence and/or sexual assault organizations, and support their efforts to do so. Ask them what they need, sincerely and with the expectation to champion their cause and to help bring it to pass for them in service to their community.

During the civil rights movement of the 1960s, the Southern Christian Leadership Conference began the civil rights movement in the south, eventually choosing the Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. as its spokesperson. But it was countless others, who were not African-American who joined and also championed the cause of the south which brought about civil rights for African-Americans and the Civil Rights Bill. Many of these individuals like the Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., were martyred championing the cause for the African-American civil rights in our nation such as Andrew Goodman, Michael Henry Schwerner, who were young white civil rights workers, who were arrested by a deputy sheriff in the south for helping people to register for the vote and then released into the hands of Klansmen who had plotted their murders. They were shot, and their bodies were buried in an earthen dam.

Ally assistance today, may not require laying down their physical lives like martyrs of the past, for African-Americans seeking equal rights today, but it will be necessary for them to stand-up for African-Americans in the African-American pursuit for equal access to services and the capability to provide violence advocacy, prevention and education and support to their communities. Assist them in obtaining resources necessary to make this happen. Share knowledge of information for grants, funding and partnerships and show them (initially at first), how to write for those grants and how to pursue developing relationships for funding, be inclusive of the African-American organizations in proactively providing them the technical assistance they need so that they may provide services to their specialized culture just as other communities of color are championed in their pursuit in providing specialized culturally responsive services to their communities.

 

For more information, the Women of Color Network has an excellent fact sheet on Domestic Violence focused on the impact on Communities of Color [PDF download].

Posted in Considerations of Identity.


Teen Dating Violence Awareness & Prevention Month – part 2

{this story is the second in a series of submissions to WCASA in response to our call for reflections on themes related to National Teen Dating Violence Awareness & Prevention Month in the form of writing, artwork, or multimedia production; we thank this survivor for sharing her thoughts and experiences honestly and candidly; as difficult as it can be to read her experiences, we know that survivors speaking up is an important part not only of their individual healing process but of our collective ability to increase the visibility of these crimes}

[TRIGGER WARNING]

 

I started dating Jake when I was 14 years old, the summer of eighth grade.  Jake was 15 and in high school, but he didn’t look it.  He was on the swimming team and was 6’ 4”.   He always told me how beautiful I was, but looking back on it now, I still had poor self esteem.  I was always watching what I ate and starving myself.  I look at pictures of me back then and I see a young girl whose face is thin, pale and sunken.  At the age of 14, I was willing to do anything to keep Jake happy.  He was my first boyfriend.  He was a big, strong diver and I wanted to be his beautiful girlfriend.

At the beginning of our relationship everything was okay.  My parents knew Jake’s mom.  His dad passed away when he was six.  My parents even liked Jake.  My older sister wasn’t so sure.  Every time I was with Jake, he always had to be touching me.  He wanted to hold my hand or put his arm around me.  When we walked on the street he insisted I have my arm looped through his.  I found it flattering.  My older sister hated seeing our public displays of affection (PDA).  I always said she was just jealous.

Six months into our relationship, Jake’s mom decided they should move for financial reasons.  Off to the east coast they went to live with family.  I was heartbroken but Jake vowed to keep in touch with me and said our long distance relationship would work.  Jake called me every day and we spoke for hours.  Back then he racked up quite the long distance phone bill.  When we weren’t talking on the phone, we found a way to keep in touch through email.  Before Jake left, the only physical intimacy we engaged in was kissing, holding hands and hugging.  After he moved, he started pressuring me more and more.  Jake was hundreds of miles away but I remember him pressuring me as if he were in the same room.  Both Jake and his mom would be coming back to Wisconsin to visit.  As the days got closer, the more Jake talked about sex.

The first thing Jake asked for were pictures.  At first it was normal pictures- me playing softball or with my family.  Then he wanted pictures of me in my bathing suit.  His demands fueled my starvation.  He eventually asked for intimate pictures- specifically my fully shaven vagina.  I knew I could get in trouble and I was sick to my stomach with worry of what he would think of my most intimate parts.  I did what he asked and sent them anyway.  I loved him, right?  But that wasn’t enough.  Jake started asking me to participate in phone sex.  I was now 15 and although I knew what he was talking about, I still had no idea what to do.  Again, I gave in to Jake’s demands and did what he asked of me.  I loved him, right?  I did it multiple times.  There were times when he would call, ask for phone sex and then hang up shortly afterward.  Our ‘relationship’ no longer resembled a relationship, just a reason for him to get off.  I didn’t even enjoy our phone sex sessions.  It wasn’t about me, it wasn’t about pleasure, it was about Jake.  All of it was about him.  His sexual desires were being fulfilled by a young woman that didn’t feel like she could say no.  I didn’t know my own body then, let alone what to do with it.

I stayed with Jake because I really did feel like he was ‘the one.’  I had no guidance about healthy relationships or healthy sexuality for that matter.  All I knew was I didn’t want to be alone.  Without him I wouldn’t be beautiful, I would be ugly and no one would want me.

The following summer Jake and his mother returned to Wisconsin to visit.  During his two week stay I had every ‘first’ sexual experience taken away from me.  I was coerced into performing oral sex, receiving oral sex and losing my virginity.  There were times when I would try to stop him.  I would say I wasn’t ready or that I was nervous but that didn’t matter.  All Jake could talk about was how we were meant to be together and how much he loved me.  He had me convinced that I was ready for sex too.  If I tried to push him off me while he was attempting to perform oral sex, he would push my hand away or tell me how good it would feel.  For the record, it NEVER felt good.  It never felt right and I never felt ready for any of it.  Jake never left bruises externally, but he had damaged me emotionally.  He said if I loved him I would perform every sexual demand he had.  I remember performing oral sex and him forcing my head down so much I started to choke and gage.  He was so forceful during sex I bled for hours.  This was love… or so I was told.

After Jake returned to the east coast with all of his coercive sexual conquests, he called and said our relationship was no longer working out.  He went on with his life and I checked into an in-patient psychiatric facility.  He left me broken and sexually damaged.  It’s only within this past year, twelve years after the fact, that I have finally started to identify myself as a survivor of sexual abuse.

Posted in Teen Issues.


Teen Dating Violence Awareness & Prevention Month – a survivor’s story

{this story was submitted as part of WCASA’s call for reflections on themes related to National Teen Dating Violence Awareness & Prevention Month in the form of writing, artwork, or multimedia production; we thank this survivor for sharing her thoughts and experiences in an honest and candid way; her experiences are unfortunately all too common…}

[TRIGGER WARNING]

If you looked at me, you would see an ambitious, accomplished, and carefree twenty-four year old. I have always excelled in school, had a Master’s Degree by the time I was twenty-three, come from a great family, and have an amazing group of friends. It’s what you don’t know about me that would surprise you: From the time I was sixteen to when I was twenty, I was in an abusive relationship.

I shouldn’t even have dated him. I didn’t want to, and that should have been enough. But, I was sixteen and was tired of waiting around for the boy I actually wanted to be with, so I thought I would give him a shot. Within a week, I knew he wasn’t right for me. I even told him that, but then he got sad, and I agreed to give him a real chance. He moved much more quickly than I was used to, especially when I was still trying to decide if I wanted to be going out with him. Within a few weeks he was saying that he loved me and calling me every day. Some of these things worried me, but his last girlfriend had died in a car accident just a year before, so I guess in my mind that made the behavior acceptable.

He seemed completely enamored with me, and I started to like it. For the most part, things went well during the first year. He was very jealous of my ex-boyfriend, who was a still close friend, and he would tell his family intimate details about our relationship, and even though it bothered me, I let it slide. I figured he was just a guy being a guy.

Things started to take a turn when we went to college. Anytime we weren’t together he was obsessed with what I was doing and who I was with. He would call or text me almost constantly, even though I was in class or working. He eventually became convinced I was cheating on him with the same ex-boyfriend he was jealous of in high school. I wasn’t happy with him anymore, but I just couldn’t break up with him, so we continued in the relationship for another year and a half. Because some of my other plans ended up falling through, we ended up living together during my third year of college. We moved in together in May and were broken up by July, but those few months, and the six months that followed until he actually moved out, were the worst.

He was still convinced that I was seeing my ex-boyfriend, and that he was the reason I wanted to break up. He would take my phone from me and read my messages and check my call log. If there was something from my ex, he would freak out. He would physically stop me from leaving or going to a different room in the apartment, either by pushing me or holding me by my arms. He would sometimes force me to hug him and wouldn’t let go until I would “hug back.”

During the last year or so of our relationship I had become disinterested in any form of sexual interaction, because I honestly could hardly even stand to be around him. I tried telling him I didn’t feel like being intimate, but he wouldn’t leave me alone about it. He would practically beg me for sex, or make me feel guilty until I caved, mostly just so that he would finally leave me alone. I would cry the entire time and he would pretend he didn’t notice.

For financial reasons, and because I was too nice of a person, I let him continue to live with me even after we broke up. His behavior toward me didn’t change even though we were no longer in a relationship. He was still jealous, possessive, and emotionally abusive. I remember we had a huge argument because I wanted him to give me his key back when he finally moved out. He just kept asking if it was because I was going to give it to “him.” By this time he had convinced himself, his family, and most of our mutual friends that I had cheated on him, and that as soon as he was gone we’d make our relationship public. It didn’t happen – because I never cheated in the first place.

Over the next few years I ran into him a few times, usually at the bar. Whenever he would see me, he would come up, put his arm around me, and pretend like we were best friends. Meanwhile, I would be freaking out inside and literally shaking with anger, sadness, and panic. I’d quickly explain to my friends that we needed to go somewhere else, and I would try to avoid seeing him again.

Three years after our break up, he started texting me out of the blue. At first he was nice, saying that he was really proud of me for everything I had accomplished so far. He even once said he felt bad about the way he treated me. A few days later, he told me I was a home wrecking whore and that he was the best thing that would ever happen to me, among other things. That was my final straw. I changed my phone number and haven’t heard from him since.

It’s been four years since we broke up, and I wish I could say I’m completely over it, but I’m not. What happened in that relationship will probably be with me for the rest of my life. It took a very long time for me to be able to be in a room alone with a guy and not be panicking inside. I spent a few years trying to ignore my feelings and emotions by drinking and making poor decisions. I was able to get close to people when I was drunk, so I thought I was over the past. I wasn’t, and I’m still not. I still have breakdowns and flashbacks sometimes, and I still get angry about what happened, and angry with myself for not ending the relationship sooner. Looking back, there were many red flags that I either didn’t notice, or chose to ignore, and that’s difficult to deal with. It’s a daily struggle, but I am hopeful that someday the emotional scars will be gone.

It took me years to share my story with anyone, and even now, few people in my life know the real details of why the relationship ended. It is still very difficult for me to share my story, but I know it is part of my healing process, and I know this experience is influencing my prevention work. I am passionate about working with youth to not only teach them about healthy relationships, but also to empower young women so hopefully if they get into a situation like this, they will feel strong enough to get out, or have the strength and encouragement needed to tell someone about the abuse. I’m hoping the girls I work with can avoid a situation like mine.

Last winter, I got a tattoo of a quote that inspires me to keep moving forward and work toward feeling whole again. This tattoo serves as a constant reminder that things will get better, and that I am not defined by what happened to me.

“I am not what happened to me. I am what I choose to become.” – Carl Jung

 

[If you or someone you know is experiencing sexual assault, find your local Sexual Assault Service Provider; if you are experiencing physical or emotional abuse in a domestic or intimate partner relationship, find your local Domestic Violence intervention service provider]

Posted in Teen Issues.